


To Be A Slytherin Muggleborn

by monetoile



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Good Slytherins, Gryffindor, Humor, Muggleborn, Muggleborn Slytherin, Muggleborn Slytherin Character, Not Canon Compliant, Slytherin, Slytherin House, Slytherin Pride, Slytherins, Slytherins Being Slytherins, a lost of people who are supposed to be dead didn't die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:47:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monetoile/pseuds/monetoile
Summary: What's it like to be a muggleborn in Slytherin? Well, I'm glad you asked!Short chapters on the life in Slytherin, usually centred around the muggleborn and if not, they're there somewhere. (Honestly they’re just there to get the story going though)
Relationships: Draco Malfoy & Original Character, Original Character & Slytherin House
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	To Be A Slytherin Muggleborn

**Author's Note:**

> First Harry Potter fanfiction. Did I make it just for Spongebob? Yes. Why? For my own amusement.
> 
> Based on this [tumblr post](https://sanity-schmanity.tumblr.com/post/89287239315/just-imagine-though-in-care-of-magical-creatures) except slightly different.

“Draco!”

Grey eyes glanced at the short fifth-year charging towards him. “Robinson. Don’t run in the hallways.”

The girl skidded to a halt, stopping right in front of the boy.

“Sorry, Draco. I just saw your hair from the corner of my eyes and ran after you to ask you something. Also, I keep telling you to call me Lia.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “And I told you that will never happen. Also, stop calling me Draco. It’s Malfoy to you.”

It was Lia’s turn to roll her eyes. “Don’t be such a stick in the mud, Draco. Anyway, don’t distract me. Do you know where Vince and Greg are?”

“And why should I tell you? You did call me a stick in the mud.”

“Oh please, Draconis Lucius Malfoy, most wonderfully dramatic Slytherin of them all, please tell me and I will be your number one fan forever.” Lia pleaded, grabbing his cloak, and shaking it.

“First of all, my name isn’t Draconis and you know that. And if I must, they’re probably in the common rooms playing chess.” Draco said, pulling back his cloak.

“Hehe, thank you!” Lia turned around and ran towards the direction of the dungeons.

Draco sighed and began walking to the library, where he had been going before he was stopped. He only took a few steps before he heard a voice call out from behind him.

“You didn’t disagree about being dramatic!”

Draco sighed again, trying to look annoyed, but the small smile on his face ruined that effect.

[time skip]

Lia skipped towards the dungeons, a small lump hidden suspiciously under her cloak. She stopped in front of a stone wall and paused, looking down.

“Now, what was the password again?” She mumbled. “Salazar was crazy? No, that was last month.” A pause. “Wait, I got it! Zabini got dumped again!”

Right as she said those words, the passage opened, revealing the Slytherin common rooms.

“I’ve said this already and I’ll say it again. Why did we have to make that the bloody password?” A voice cried out from the other side of the room. A few Slytherins snickered but no one bothered to answer.

“Aww, it’s okay Blaise. No one asked you to get dumped.” Lia tried to comfort the dark-skinned boy but instead made him shriek even louder.

Deciding that it was time to ignore Blaise, Lia strode towards the large table in the middle of the common room, taking out the item hidden beneath her cloak and placing it on the table.

“What do you have there, Lia?” The younger Greengrass asked, approaching Lia curiously.

“Hello, sixth-year Astoria.” Lia greeted the girl, a large smile on her face.

Astoria looked at Lia, confusion clearly shown on her face.

“Why are you saying my year level?”

Lia’s smile grew wider. “For the dear readers, of course.”

“Readers?” Astoria asked, even more confused than before.

“Never mind that, dear. To answer your question, it’s an object that plays music when you clap and say the magic word. I made Vince and Greg collect it from the owlery for me.”

“Magic word?”

Lia’s smile turned into a smirk. “Allow me to demonstrate.” She clapped her hand and uttered one short word. “Play.”

Nothing happened for a second.

And then-

Are ya ready kids?  
Aye, aye, captain!  
I can't hear you!  
Aye, aye, captain!  
Ooooooh  
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?  
SpongeBob SquarePants!  
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he?  
SpongeBob SquarePants!  
If nautical nonsense be something you wish?  
SpongeBob SquarePants!  
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish  
SpongeBob SquarePants!  
Ready?  
SpongeBob SquarePants  
SpongeBob SquarePants  
SpongeBob SquarePants  
SpongeBob SquarePants

Now, everybody was staring at Lia and the object. Some students had even come down from the dormitories to see what the sound was.

Lia just stood there cackling, feeding on the stunned looks of her fellow students.

“This is going to be a fun week.”

[time skip]

The song had been played about 12 times every day, sometimes even more. Surprisingly, Lia was not the only one to start it, as multiple others had found it quite funny as well. Most of them even began to sing along.

Eventually, the song was stuck in every Slytherin’s head, which made for some funny classes.

Take the third-year Care of Magical Creatures with the Gryffindors. Now, Lia wasn’t there for the class, being a fifth year herself, but she heard the stories.

(flashback)

“’Today we’re learnin’ ‘bout hippogriffs.” Rubeus Hagrid said, looking across at the children standing around him.

They all nodded, a few looking worried.

“I know yeh’ve prob’ly heard stories but they’re harmless lil creatures so don’t be scared.”

This did little to appease the students, but Hagrid shrugged. It would be okay once the saw Buckbeak. “Anways, are ya ready kids?”

A small Slytherin boy muttered something, making the other Slytherins around him giggle.

Hagrid frowned, not hearing what the boy had said. “I can’t hear you.”

The Slytherins managed to shout an, “AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN” before bursting out laughing, some clutching their stomachs and falling to the ground.

The Gryffindors eyed them, completely confused. The muggleborns and those who had been raised by a muggle knew what they were quoting but the fact that a lot of pureblood wizards and witches knew it was puzzling enough (seeing as Slytherin was still majority pureblood with some halfbloods thrown in).

Hagrid stared down at his students, concern filling his face as he watched them laugh until they cried. “Are yeh kids alright?”

The only Slytherin that was able to talk look up at Hagrid, wiping the corners of her eyes. “Apologies, Professor. They’ll be fine in a few minutes.” Already, some of them were getting up, pushing themselves off the ground.

Hagrid nodded, deciding to continue the class and hoped the kids would be fine.

(flashback end)

Lia laughed to herself. That wasn’t even the best. No, no. The best was the eighth years. She had heard Daphne retell the story many times and still loved it.

(flashback)

It was Muggle Studies. Usually this was an elective, but all eighth years were required to take it, especially considering the recent history. Since there weren’t a whole lot of returning eighth years, they all took the class together. The muggleborn and halfbloods were happy because it meant easy marks for them.

But off-topic. Back to the day.

“We’re going to have a short quiz now. I’m just going to ask some questions and whoever knows the answer, call it out. This isn’t going to affect any grades, so if you don’t know it, that’s okay. And make sure everyone has a turn.” Professor Cattermole said.

The students nodded.

“Good. First question, who is the current ruler of our country?”

“Queen Elizabeth the Second.” Seamus answered.

“Correct. Next question, what do most muggles use to travel to places?”

“A car, although there are many other vehicles to choose from.” A Ravenclaw called out from the back.

“Good job.” Professor Cattermole smiled. “Next, who lives in-”

“A pineapple under the sea.”

All the students turned, staring at the student who had interrupted.

Theodore Nott looked up to see all eyes on him, then realised what he had accidentally said out loud. His covered his face with his hands and groaned, mortified and face slowly turned red.

Blaise snorted. Draco smirked. Daphne, Tracey and Pansy giggled. The rest of the Slytherins covered their mouths, trying to muffle their laughs.

Professor Cattermole and the other eighth-years looked at the Slytherins with confusion (which was becoming a common sight for them). Hermione narrowed her eyes. She recognised that phrase.

Millicent had a thoughtful expression on her face. She leaned over and whispered something into Theo’s ear.

Theo suddenly slammed the desk and stood up. He spun to look at his housemates, back facing the other students, and sighed. “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” He muttered.

All it took was a split-second and a glance for the Slytherins to understand and decide. Slytherin already had a pretty bad reputation. How could a small thing make it worse?

Draco grumbled, not believing that he was doing this.

In an almost exasperated tone, Theo repeated, this time loud enough for everyone to hear, “I said, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!”

Then the bell went. The Slytherins quickly shoved their parchment and quills into their bag and hurried out the door, sniggering as they elbowed Theo who was still slightly red. Millicent could be seen slipping a galleon into his hand as they exited the classroom.

The rest of the class sat there for a moment, stunned, before realising that the bell had just gone. As they walked out the classroom, they were left to ponder what had just happened.

(flashback ends)

Lia laughed again. As she walked into her dorm, she stretched her arms.

“What song should I pick next?” She murmured.

**Author's Note:**

> Just for your information, the OC's name is Cecilia "Lia" Anne Robinson. She's half Asian and half British because YES ASIAN'S CAN HAVE WESTERN SOUNDING NAMES DON'T BE SO STEREOTYPICAL. Also Draco Malfoy is in his eighth-year, so 1999.
> 
> Also, I need a better way to time skip. And Professor Cattermole is a real Harry Potter character but not an actual professor. I just made her the Muggle Studies teacher.


End file.
